


Burden

by Karen_Hart



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Related, Canonical Character Death, Headcanon, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karen_Hart/pseuds/Karen_Hart
Summary: Mangaverse. A look at some key moments in the first life of Sailor Pluto. Basically an opportunity to deploy my Pluto headcanon, because I feel that to see her only as lonely is to diminish her. Duck and cover.
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Burden**

by Karen Hart

* * *

Sailor Pluto watched as Queen Serenity retraced her steps through the Space-Time Door and into the most secluded halls of the Moon Castle. The doors swung shut before Pluto lost sight of the queen; she turned back to the empty, foggy expanse that was her domain.

She hadn't wanted it to be this way.

The fog around her shifted, forming eerie shapes and ghostly images. Sometimes she'd let her mind drift as she tried to identify the changing illusions. Other times, she'd conjure a vision of her own: the shores of Neptune, or one of the floating cities of Venus. Not now. She just stared at the bleak gray surroundings and shuddered. She had just doomed a mother, ten worlds and one of the most powerful alliances in the universe.

It had to be done. The thought sickened her. 'It had to be done' was a phrase used too often to justify villainy to remain untainted. But it was the truth.

Gritting her teeth Sailor Pluto tapped the base of her Garnet Rod on the ground and waited for the echoes to die away. Then she closed her eyes and reached inside herself. The air around her slowly grew cooler and she felt slight prickles against her skin. When she reopened her eyes the foggy terrain was gone, replaced by infinite black punctuated by clusters and streamers of light.

All distances in this place were temporal rather than physical. She held up her right hand and centered a distant ribbon between her thumb and forefinger. It looked so small from here yet she knew it spanned millennia. A closer look revealed that a thin strand of light connected it to a larger streamer. As her senses adjusted more streamers appeared. Around her the lights flowed, billowing out like smoke in places, thinning to a spider's strand in others. It was a breathtaking sight. How she wished she could have shared it with someone.

Sailor Pluto knew that each speck of glitter that made up the ribbons was an intelligent mind. That was part of the nature of Time, after all. If there was no one to mark the passing days the Universe would be nothing more than so many spinning rocks. Keeping those lights shining was her sacred, secret duty, even before guarding the Space-Time Door.

She focused on one ribbon. It expanded into a river, broad and rushing and magnificent: the Solar System. And it was in danger of running dry.

With her eyes fixed on the flow of light Sailor Pluto sank to one knee and carefully brought the tip of her rod in contact with the river. _Steady, steady. Try to find out where this timestream can lead because this is the one you can't afford to let dwindle._

Eventually she stood up in defeat, because she still couldn't come up with a better idea. Yes, there were other star systems. Yes, there were other civilizations, not a few of which rivaled the Silver Millennium. Yet this was about more than just nations.

Queen Metalia was on the move. She needed to be contained at least, destroyed if possible. If the Earth and the Moon warred with each other the other planets would come to the Moon's aid and the blue planet would be decimated, ruining all the Moon's efforts to nurture that special living world. Meanwhile Metalia would gorge herself on the mayhem unleashed and all the other planets, having used much of their resources, would be destroyed. Metalia would advance into the greater Milky Way galaxy.

One slim hope had been that Prince Endymion could convince his people to abandon their prejudices and ally themselves with the Moon Kingdom. That hope had been dashed when the Prince's guards, the Four Kings of Heaven, had instead abandoned their liege lord and joined forces with an Earth sorceress, the self-styled Queen Beryl.

Queen Beryl, Metalia's chief servant, had been busy securing her power throughout Earth, further diminishing Endymion's influence. Her authority was weakest in the southwestern hemisphere, however. If Queen Serenity was willing she might send one of the Guardian Goddesses--Sailor Mercury, perhaps, or Sailor Jupiter--down to work out a truce and an alliance. If that happened Earth would be ravaged but remain viable, Queen Metalia would be reduced and sealed, Queen Serenity's daughter would take the throne upon her mother's death and the Silver Millennium would continue . . . for a while.

A while, because the man Princess Serenity loved would perish in battle and she would take neither lover nor husband for the rest of her life. She would die with no heir and with the throne in contention the Silver Millennium would fracture and another war would erupt. It wouldn't end there, either. The other star systems that relied on the Silver Millennium for trade would also start to collapse. There would be more conflict, and more death.

Yet she couldn't summon the Queen and tell her where Metalia's weak spot was, or where Beryl's forces were most vulnerable, because the Silver Millennium would eventually collapse under its own weight in two, maybe two and a half thousand years, same result.

Even the power of Sailor Saturn wasn't an option. Her awakening required the resonance of the Talismans, and they couldn't be forced.

There was a way to completely destroy Queen Metalia and save the alliance, but Pluto hated it because it meant sacrificing tens of billions of lives (at least!) and shattering the hearts of her beloved Queen and Princess. Admittedly 'saving the alliance' was stretching it a bit, as the Silver Millennium's fall and all the chaos Pluto would envision would come about anyway. But if everything went just right the realms of Earth and Moon would merge and a new alliance would arise.

When Queen Serenity had lately visited the Space-Time Door she had all but begged Sailor Pluto for help. Sailor Pluto had played the role of the Eternal and Impartial Guardian of Time, saying only "Trust in the future." Nothing else, while she longed to say so much more, to explain.

If only Metalia could manipulate Beryl into killing Prince Endymion. If only Princess Serenity could witness it, the shock awakening the dormant Guardian's power within her before grief set in and she took her own life. If only Queen Serenity would remember Sailor Pluto's words and use the Legendary Silver Crystal's power to send their souls into the far future. There was so much that could go wrong.

Sailor Pluto's fingers tightened around the Garnet Rod as she contemplated the treason she'd committed by her reticence. Her choice sickened her. She wanted--wished she could have wanted--to fling her rod to the ground and abandon her position as Guardian of Time. What right did being herself give her to damn so many lives? It shouldn't have been her choice alone to make. It wasn't, not really, but the unfortunate truth was that here, in solitude surrounded on all sides by infinite Time, she knew people, knew how they thought and behaved. For success, silence was necessary.

She hadn't wanted it to be this way, but if it all worked out. . . .

A light glimmered through the eons, faint yet full of promise and hope. It flickered at first, then became a clear, steady gleam: a distant, yet now reachable star. She felt her fingers relax. Somehow she had made it across the chasm of doubt to find fresh resolve on the other side. Sailor Pluto looked ahead into that potential future and wept with joy at the sight of the shining, golden-haired girl her princess would become, the glittering crystal city and thriving planet she would rule, her love and her friends by her side.

And the lights! It would be like looking into the heart of a star, so many minds marking the days that would go by.

_I feel sorrow, but no regret._

It was her duty, and it would lead to something good.

Yet she still wished there was a less painful way.


	2. Chapter 2

_Don't look back._

Queen Serenity forced herself to look forward at the dull gray pillars in the endless drab stone hallway. She wondered if this place had any end; it seemed like she'd been walking for days, perhaps lifetimes. Maybe she hadn't made any progress at all. She didn't know. There seemed to be light in the distance, but it never got any closer. Her steps began to slow.

Hammering against her mind was the thought that perhaps her errand here was futile. There was no way to reach what she sought, only this endless path that went nowhere. All she need do was give up. If only she would give in and accept an imperfect defense for her kingdom she could be free of this depressing place. She shook herself and pressed on.

This place was cold, somber and quiet. A thin layer of dust lined the floor and was surely collecting along the hem of her gown. She didn't check. She mustn't look anywhere but forward. Slowly she perceived changes in her surroundings. It was becoming warmer, and a gentle hum permeated the air. The featureless stone walls gave way to massive blocks of frosted glass which in turn gave way to tall mullioned windows which revealed--

"You cannot come any farther."

Serenity almost stumbled in shock. Where there had been miles of unending hallway there was now an open double door and a wide foggy expanse, yet she couldn't recall it ever appearing. In fact there was nothing but the door here--no hall, no pillars, no windows to be seen--and a small girl-child.

The girl was on her hands and knees, oblivious to the Queen as she took two silvery strands of fog and twined them together. Her skin was a rich brown and dark green hair cascaded around her small body. She wore nothing but a simple mid-gray dress. She reached for another length of fog and affixed it to the first two then she brought the ends together in a ring. She flung it in the air and caught it laughing as it fell, sparkling, back down to her.

Queen Serenity wasn't accustomed to being ignored. She raised a hand to her lips--

"You need something from me."

\--and lowered it.

"I do," the Queen admitted. "Or rather there's something I must ask you to do. May I ask your name first?"

The girl shrugged and looked at Serenity head on for once. Her eyes were like blood and cherries and semiprecious stones. "I've never needed one. I know who I am."

"I do not," Queen Serenity pointed out.

"Not you." Serenity's lips quirked at that. "And you lie. You know exactly who I am and what you're here to ask me. You wish you could make it a command, but you can't. And you dread me saying no."

Queen Serenity bowed her head. It was all true. She looked up. "Yes. I know that you are the child of Chronos. I came here to ask you to become Sailor Pluto. To ask you to stand guard in this place against all intruders." Her mouth went dry and the last word came out as an undignified croak.

"Forever."

* * *

She wasn't long into her reign but Queen Serenity already had plans for her realm.

Though it was small in size the Moon was home to one of the most (if not the most) prosperous kingdoms in the Solar System. Silver Millennium was a land of peace, beauty and wealth. The Queen's heart swelled with pride when she thought of the efforts her foremothers had brought forth to maintain that prosperity. Yet Serenity was determined to do more.

With the exceptions of Mercury, Saturn and Neptune, the other worlds were a morass of petty kingdoms. Treaties were made and swiftly broken as soon as it became convenient. Former allies warred briefly with each other, eventually declaring a truce when skirmishing stopped being profitable. A few years later last decade's enemies would ally once again and the whole sorry business would repeat itself.

Perhaps there was a way to change all that.

Aside from the Moon and Earth, each planet in the Solar System was host to a sacred guardian warrior. She was always beautiful, always gifted with power over a specific element, and always in the garb of a mariner. The Sailor Guardian, such a woman was called, and if the conditions on nearly every planet were a sign, new Guardians were soon to be born.

They were traditionally referred to as princesses, but that was something of a misnomer. Daughters of their planets themselves, they could be born into any family, not just that of their planetary rulers. Wielding the power and might of their native worlds, they enjoyed a special status outside the hierarchies of their people.

Serenity thought of the reports of raging storms on Jupiter, far beyond anything anyone had seen in centuries. Mars had grown hotter than ever. On Uranus it was nearly impossible for any ship to land in the now constant hurricane-force winds. It was certainly true that unseasonable weather could happen on any world and at any time, but Serenity was sure it heralded new Guardians.

With the barest sketches of a plan drifting through her mind she sought out the Legendary Silver Crystal.

* * *

The Legendary Silver Crystal was an odd jewel. Sometimes it would remain dormant for decades on end. Other times it would release peace and healing in great torrents. The queens of Silver Millennium had learned long ago that one didn't make demands of the stone, only requests. It decided whether or not it would act. Now, as Serenity advanced toward it on its pedestal, it seemed to wait.

_You have ambitions._

She wasn't certain if the words came from the Crystal or her own conscience. "I have." In exchange for the Moon's technology and resources the other worlds would be subject to Queen Serenity's rule, with the Sailor Guardians of the innermost planets to serve as protectors of the Silver Millennium royal family. Jupiter would be placed among their number, thereby evening the balance of power. The Guardians of Uranus and Neptune would patrol the borders of the Solar System and repel any invaders. Saturn . . . she would have to think of how best to utilize Sailor Saturn. Perhaps she might act as a failsafe.

_You've decided what they will do and what they will be even before they're born?_

The question gave her pause.

_They won't know what you ask of them. They won't understand that you mean for them to serve your kingdom as long as they live. They won't understand the choice was never theirs. It will wound their souls._

Queen Serenity looked away. "Is there a better way?"

_To achieve what you desire? No._ The Crystal seemed to dim sadly. _Peace and comfort have a high cost. They are still worth the price. Your plan would make the Solar System secure from all outside avenues of attack but one._

"That would be?" There was something about the Legendary Silver Crystal's words that disturbed her but she couldn't yet place the reason.

_Time. The risk is small but the damage to be incurred is great._

Serenity wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling chilled. "I'd hoped it wouldn't be necessary."

_It is. But you cannot simply present her with a_ fait accompli. _You must petition her directly._

"Travel to Pluto? I'd hoped to begin implementing my plans more discreetly. It would be difficult to fabricate a reason to go there."

_You needn't leave this castle. There is another path to her realm. You've lived your entire life within these grounds, yet there are places you've never tread. Their very existence denies you. To walk them is forbidden. Would you still go?_

The Queen fought to suppress the sudden sense of bewilderment she felt. It almost seemed as though the Crystal was urging her down a path of its choosing, rather than her own. There was still so much she didn't know about this jewel she relied on.

"I would."

_Then walk the loneliest hall tonight. Do not rush. When solitude and sorrow envelops you turn onto the path now granted. Always look forward. Never look back._ The Crystal pulsed.

_From here on you must never look back._

* * *

"Forever is an odd word," the girl mused. "It never seems to last any time at all. But here--"

Queen Serenity tilted her chin up. "Yes. It has meaning here."

The girl straightened up, pushing her masses of hair behind her shoulders. She smiled. "You don't need to worry. I'll do what you ask. I've been waiting for you to come here. I thought you would come sooner."

"You knew? Then why. . . ? You could have simply--" The Queen glanced around in confusion.

The girl shook her head. "It doesn't work that way. Cause and effect, it's all . . . you see it's--" She struggled to find words. "People treat it like it's simple, until it's not."

Neither of them knew how long the quiet persisted between them, or even whether there was such a moment. The fog grew thick around them and it occurred to Queen Serenity that she was standing on a cliff's edge, gathering the nerve to jump. She closed her hand around something heavy that hadn't been there before.

With shaking fingers she held the magical pen out for the girl to take. The girl did, and Queen Serenity let go the breath she'd been holding in. The girl examined the pen, her eyes going strange and prismatic before she flung her hand upwards. Queen Serenity started, sure the pen must've gone flying with the force of the girl's movement, yet it hovered just over her head.

"Pluto Power, Make-Up!"

The transformation was something beautiful and lingering and far too brief. The girl--Sailor Pluto now--came out of it no longer a small child but a preteen girl. The trim of her uniform was black with brown, and garnet chevrons adorned her ears. A pendant of the same stone hung from her choker and yet another graced her tiara. A rod began to materialize in the air in front of her.

Both Sailor Pluto and the rod hit the ground with a thud and a clang respectively. The newly made Guardian stared into infinity for what could have been moments, or entire lifetimes. It was a while before she lifted her head. Then she reached for the rod--the Garnet Rod--and stood up. "I remember that I used to know so much, and now so much that I knew is turning to fog. It seems a high price to pay when I don't even know what I've bought." She stared inward, and nodded to herself. Then she looked up. "I begin anew. Guide me, please, Your Majesty."

The Queen smiled sadly. "Pluto, you are the Guardian of the Space-Time Door, the one who governs over time and space. But there are three taboos that you must not break. You must not allow anyone to travel through time. You must not stray far from this door you now guard. And lastly. . . ."

Sailor Pluto's knuckles were tight under her gloves. "And lastly?"

"Lastly, you must never cause time to stop. With the Garnet Rod such an act is possible for you, yet were you to try it would end your life. Do not try."


	3. Chapter 3

For objects that could invoke such terror, the Crystals were ridiculously small.

But at least she could do something about this.

Up until the last thousand years or so her job had been easy enough. Standing guard at the Space-Time Door was not difficult if you were patience personified. The eons had drifted by like clouds since the Migration of Souls and she had idly watched Earth's history unfold a second time. None of it affected her very much, right up until the Sailor Guardians were reborn.

She hadn't been lonely. In fact she'd had trouble understanding the concept. Her place was at the Door, and being there had been fulfilling enough. More was unnecessary. Yes, the Queen had on rare occasions visited to seek wisdom or dispense orders, but Pluto hadn't felt any need for her to stay.

Then came the rebirths. They came into the world in what felt like rapid succession and suddenly Sailor Pluto knew what longing was. They were here in the world, finally, the ones with whom she shared a kithship and she, the only one who'd lived to remember them, couldn't go to them. She was duty-bound to stay at her post. She couldn't even offer guidance in confronting their enemy, because it wasn't just they who'd been brought back.

Somehow the Dark Kingdom had found a way to latch on to the Queen's last desperate wish. At first Sailor Pluto hadn't noticed because it took them a while to recorrupt, but corrupt they did. The Sailor Guardians were forced to stumble through a second war, one that she could have shortened considerably had she been permitted. Unfortunately no; not only was she bound to the Door, it was forbidden, save for a very select few, even to know of her.

So she stood her post and willed them well with everything she had in her. Especially the Prince and Princess. Serenity's new form was as blithe and carefree as the rabbits that had lived in the Moon Palace's gardens. Endymion . . . had suffered. Yet he had somehow managed to stave off despair, turning himself into a wellspring of love and support for his princess. She watched him more closely than the others and the longing she felt this time--was different.

Then time became strangely elastic. She had the distant impression that she shouldn't look at that period too closely. That was all right because something wonderful had happened shortly after: the birth of Small Lady. The little one had quite literally walked into her life one day and had taught her things like companionship, anticipation and the pleasures of distraction. 

Though maybe she should've resisted that last one. If she'd been more attentive maybe none of them would be in this situation. She raised the Rod above her head, the Garnet Orb at the top winking fitfully.

The taboos had been easy enough to obey, though she'd already broken the first one when Silver Millennium fell. Neither she nor Queen Serenity had said anything about it. Rulebreaking didn't apply when it was necessary. But her duty had been enough to keep her at the Space-Time Door, and she'd seen no reason to stop time.

Until now. The Legendary Silver Crystals couldn't be allowed to touch each other.

_I've never felt happier, or prouder, or more terrified than I do right now._

Sailor Pluto inhaled. She was out of last moments.

"I call upon Time . . . to **_stop!_** "

* * *

And Time obeyed.

All about her was stillness. She raised her rod again, restoring the flow of time to the reborn princess and her guardians. Sailor Pluto hoped they'd shake off their confusion soon, because she didn't have much time left. She released Tuxedo Mask and Small Lady from stasis.

Sailor Pluto had stopped time. No heart beat, no atom (or planet) spun, no breath was drawn, no muscle twitched, no leaf rustled, no flame ignited, no wave crashed. For a lack of time, there was only cessation. But there were laws that even the children of gods had to obey. Equal and opposite reactions. The force of an entire galaxy starting back up again hit the Guardian of Time, and her body was broken before she hit the ground.

"Pluto?!"

The others gathered around her, wasted precious seconds talking among themselves about what she'd done, about the cost. That was all right, though. She knew there was enough time for what needed to be done.

Her body ached. "Time has stopped, but this situation won't last for very long. Sailor Moon, carefully take the two 'Legendary Silver Crystals' from Prince Demande. Hurry!"

Had Sailor Moon done as she'd asked? Her head felt strange, as though it was full of clouds. Who knew a few seconds could stretch for so long? Oh good, the Princess had the Crystals. Yes, let Sailor Venus have one in her keeping for a bit. "Thank goodness."

"It's all thanks to you, Sailor Pluto." There were tears in Sailor Moon's eyes. Of course there were.

Sailor Pluto smiled. "I always wanted to help you all. I always thought I'd fight beside you, someday. . . . And now I have. Sailor Moon--future Neo-Queen Serenity--I've always admired you . . . looked up to you. Please save Small Lady." Never Black Lady. Never. Her mouth was filling with blood. Why did she feel so dizzy?

There was someone shouting at her to hold on. King Endymion. There was so much she wanted to tell him, how she'd fallen in love with him in reborn form, how guilt for arranging his death had kept her silent. How she delighted in the romance he had with his beloved, and her shame at wishing he'd turn his eyes toward her. Sweet, beautiful man. She reminded him that her actions were a crime, and weren't free.

Sailor Pluto was briefly distracted by a gray patch of ground. Gray? Oh right. She reached for the Garnet Rod. She had another person to thank. Who knew her last moments would be filled with such gratitude?

A tiny gray kitten floated in what used to be empty air, before landing beside Sailor Pluto. "Pluto?!"

There was enough strength left in her to nuzzle the little feline. "Thank you, Diana, for giving me the courage . . . and guarding the Door in my place." She rubbed Diana's chin. Kittens shouldn't cry. She turned her gaze back to King Endymion. "I was so proud of the duty I'd been given." 

_Don't look so sad, Your Majesty. You're so close I can reach out and touch you. Touch your lavender cape, the color of a sunrise. So lovely._

A key, she needed a key. In her hand. Good. "Your Majesty, I wasn't able to protect Small Lady." The key was too heavy. Her hand dropped. "Please forgive me."

Please.

"Small Lady."

* * *

A miracle was performed and a space was made, sending ripples into the world before they stilled once more. A thousand years before she died she was restored to the world.

Now all that was left was awakening.


End file.
